being a mother...

Soon after i got married.. i planned to have a baby.. because i thought that was what a married couple should do.... have a baby...

So we have a baby 11 months after i got married to my husband... i was so happy and excited that time... u know for being a mother...

I raised my first son without any problem...he was so easy to handle and i was so happy to have him.... 

Later i thought... let's have another baby.. since Benjamin (my son) was always play alone.. so i thought if he has a brother or sister.. he will have someone to play with... 

So we have another baby when Benjamin not yet 3 ( a few months away from 3) and raised Aleesya (my daughter) was not difficult too... although  she always woke up in the middle of the night.. and made me like a zombie in the morning.. but i guess that's OK.. because other parents also suffered the same things.. so it's normal.. 

If i may tell you.. raised a kid when they were born until they reach 5-6 years old.. was amazing (my son is 5 years old now).. you can do a lot of things with them.. and in fact you can let out the child that stuck inside you while you were with your kids.. they always love to see their mother going crazy with them.. u know.. play with them.. enjoy the cartoons with them.. and in fact enjoy life with them... 

However.. as they grew bigger.. and older.. i mean when they start to enter primary school.. or if you serious about education( like me) your standard will be a bit higher.. which is when ur kids enter kindergarten.. you will start to worried about them.. about their education.. and their social life... Like me.. i was worried when my kids cant read.. there was once i went to his school for report card. and the teacher said that Benjamin was a little bit behind then others since he always skipped school ( that was my fault) , always come to school late ( that was his father's fault) and always sleepy in school... so he cannot enjoy his school.. and that was one of the reason why he left behind.. hearing that.. i was so frustrated.. i asked my self.. why was that happened? i always monitored him at home.. i mean do the reading with him.. but still he was left behind.. 

So started from that tragedy.. i told myself.. i have to work really hard on the kids..i have to make sure he did the reading every single day.. asked him to do math exercises everyday.. LESS TV and LESS YOUTUBE... i did all this with a hope that he will excel in his study..it is not about get a good grade in the future.. but i really really want my kids know how to read.. how to do math.. because that's a basic knowledge.. and if i failed ... it is like i failed to be a parent! that's the way i see it!!!...

In two years time.. Benjamin has to attend primary school.. ohhhh.. that cause me a headache just to find which school is good for him.. u know.. we have a school in front of our apartment.. it was so near and if i send Benjamin there.. i can walk with him to school... however... based on my observation.. and i asked a few people.. that is not a good school..due to the social problem.. and most people that i asked around .. send their kids to a school which a bit distance from our apartment..and they have to hired a van driver to pick and send their kids to home and school.. so now i have to consider either to send my kids to a school which a bit distance.. and i have to spent extra money on the van driver.. OR i just have to close my eyes and send my kid to the school near the apartment... u know to make a decision is sooo damn hard.. because it involve your kid's future! it involve their life... the way i see it.. send my kid to school.. is like send them to a place that can change them to become either a good or bad person..it depend on the school.. so u tell me isnt it a hardest thing to decide..

That's enough about school OK??... OK... now as i see my kids grew bigger and bigger.. i started to think what will happen to them in the future.. as a parents we always give the best to them and in return we also hope a good thing from them right??... so due to this fact i started to think a lot about my kids.. about what will happen to them in the future.. and what can i do to make sure they can have a good future... what the best food for them.. so they can grow brighter... and the list goes on... and at the end of the day it always make me tired of thinking all those things.. and in fact i became too tired  for being too worried about them and their future...

So now.. for those who want to have a baby.. here is my advise.. (nobody tell me about this).. to have a kid.. is not that hard.. but to raise one.. i mean to raise them to be a good person.. is a serious business! so if u want to be one.. make sure you prepare all the craziest issues that might stuck on your mind just because u worry too much about them..  you need to spent some of your time to check them on their homework, reading.. or other execise... .. u have to send them to other extra curriculum.. so they will not get bore just to study all the times.. u need to have a lot of money to send them to a good school ( i mean private school if u can afford) or to tuition class.. or music school.. ...and so on..but above it all.. u can enjoy yourself of being somebody's important.. you are so important in your kid's life.. and enjoy all the satisfaction when ur kid reach ur expectation.. heheheh 

Belajar Membaca

Benjamin masuk sekolah masa dia umur 4 tahun... dan before dia masuk sekolah lagi sy dah simpan angan-angan supaya dia boleh membaca before dia umur 5 tahun!.. Yes angan-angan saya sungguh tinggi!!!

Sy fikir bila anak-anak boleh membaca.. sy boleh belikan dia buku.. and from there they can start explore the whole world by just reading a book.. so boleh bayangkan betapa besarnya nilai bila kita pandai membaca.. saya selalu bagi tahu Benjamin... "kalau Benjamin pandai baca buku.. nanti mummy beli banyak buku.. dan Benjamin boleh baca mcm2 benda... kalau benjamin nak tahu pasal dinasour.. benjamin boleh baca buku pasal dinasour"etc... bila saya cakap macam tu.. ia menimbulkan keinginan anak-anak untuk membaca.. sebab diaorang tahu there will be alot of things waiting to be explore by them once they know how to read....

Pada mulanya.. saya beli buku "bacalah anakku" yang versi bahasa Inggeris.. lepas tengok cd dia.. saya ajar Benjamin guna phonic punya bahasa..tetapi memandangkan sy pun x berapa pandai phonic ni.. sebab sy x diajar mcm itu... sy pun give up... masa tu Benjamin belum lagi 4 tahun...

Selepas itu.. saya masuk satu bengkel belajar membaca untuk anak-anak yang di jalankan oleh pihak Little Caliph iaitu tadika Benjamin.. dan dari situ sy belajar yang sy seharusnya menggunakan buku "bacalah anakku" bahasa melayu dahulu before buat bahasa inggeris.. kerana once diaorang dah master yang bahasa melayu.. buku bahasa inggeris x menjadi masalah...Lagi satu.. kita seharusnya menggunakan bahasa phonic bila mengajar anak.. dan jangan sekali mencampur adukkan.. sebab nanti budak-budak akan confuse...

Jadi berdasarkan bengkel tersebut sy pun mula balik untuk ajar Benjamin membaca.. dengan menggunakan buku "bacalah anakku" versi bahasa malayu dan buku yang little caliph sediakan sendiri

Pada mulanya memang susah.. sebab bila ajar Benjamin..dia selalu buat mcm muka macam boring.. dan bila disuruh untuk ulang balik apa yang diajar.. dia selalu lupa.. dan ia menimbulkan kemarahan saya... biasanya waktu membaca adalah waktu yang cukup tertekan buat saya dan Benjamin....

Jadi saya pun tanya pada cikgu Benjamin.. mcm mana caranya untuk ajar.. since Benjamin selalu x ingat... dan cikgu tu cakap.. if Benjamin x ingat saya kena keep bagi tahu dia.. dan lama2 dia ingat.. untuk belajar membaca.. budak2 harus menghafal untuk membaca suku katanya.. dan untuk menghafal mereka harus praktis banyak kali.. sekurang-kurangnya sekali sehari... dan itulah yang saya cuba buat!..

Tetapi memandangkan saya kadang-kadang sibuk.. dan kadang2 Benjamin mcm x ada mood nk belajar.. so praktis setiap hari tidak selalu dapat dijalankan..sekurangnya.. saya buat dalam 3 kali seminggulah untuk praktis membaca..

Hasilnya.. alhamdulillah.. sekarang Benjamin dah boleh membaca.. sekarang dia dah kenal semua suku kata.. dan dah boleh membaca buku walaupun masih kurang lancar lagi.. tapi inshaAllah thru practice.. dia boleh membaca dengan lancar...

Pada pandangan saya.. untuk mengajar anak-anak membaca.. memang memerlukan kesabarang yang sangat-sangat tinggi.. because there will be a time the kids just refused to learn.. and sometimes diaorang tunjuk muka yang sangat boring.. sehingga membuatkan kita pun rasa boring sangat2 untuk mengajar.. tapi as parents.. kita kena sentiasa cuba untuk make the process of learning become interesting... reward them if we can afford... ( i dont think if we reward the kids it can bring harm to them... i guess it depend on what kind of reward we offer)

Dan bila anak kita x ingat apa yang kita ajar.. dont give up.. just teruskan mengajar dia.. our job is to let them learn.. to educate them.. not to test their knowledge.. if they dont know.. then just tell them... it's ok! Diaorang x tahu bukan bermakna diaorang x pandai.... kadang2 diaorang confused.. macam Benjamin dia selalu confused antara "b" dan "d".. so bila dia confused.. sy just kept telling him...

Belajar membaca is a process that require a lot...lot of practice.. however it is our job as a parents to educate our kids..  so.. dont give up parents!

sekarang sy tengah dalam process untuk mengajar Aleesya pulak membaca.. ooohhh.. another journey!

Hantar anak ke sekolah muzik

Nak belajar music ni memang dah menjadi idaman saya sejak saya kecil lagi... sy selalu angan-angan untuk main piano atau violin masa kecil-kecil dulu.. tetapi memandangkan keluarga saya tak mampu nak hantar saya ke Sekolah Muzik.. jadi angan-angan saya hanya tinggal angan-angan aja...TAPI saya nekad.. suatu hari nanti.. bila saya dah ada duit sy nk masuk music school... ianya untuk self satisfaction sy!! hehehehe...

Okey.. hari ni bukan nk cerita pasal saya.. tapi pasal anak-anak sebenarnya....

Sejak Benjamin dalam perut lagi saya memang ingin dia belajar kelas muzik.. in fact masa dalam perut saya dah berikan anak-anak mendengar ayat-ayat quran dan muzik-muzik slow untuk merangsangkan minda diaorang masa dalam perut lagi... sy buat mcm tu dengan harapan supaya bila diaorang lahir.. bolehlah dia menjadi anak yang pandai... hahahahhha siapa yang tak nak anak yang pandai kan???

Tetapi lain yang sy harap.. lain pulak yang jadinya.. minggu lepas saya pergi sekolah Benjamin untuk ambil report kad.. dan saya diberitahu oleh cikgu yang Benjamin agak kebelakang sikit sebab dia selalu x pergi sekolah dan bila ke sekolah dia selalu mengantuk.. walaupun Benjamin dah boleh membaca walaupun  belum 5 tahun lagi... tetapi kalau nk compare dia dengan kawan-kawan dia.. memang dia bukan yang berada di hadapanlah.. dan itu menghancurkan hati saya.... sungguh hancur hati saya... sebab almost everyday .. x kira pukul berapa pun saya balik ke rumah sy akan make sure sy mengajar Benjamin buat maths.. or baca buku.. tapi kesemua itu tidak membuahkan hasil yang sy inginkan....

Sy rasa masalah Benjamin adalah dia kurang fokus bila dia belajar.... saya x salahkan dia.. maybe silap saya bila dia diberi kelonggaran untuk tengok banyak sangat TV!.. yes.. that was my biggest mistake!!!.. So sy pun google2 lah cara2 untuk buat anak2 mudah fokus... dan sy terjumpa article pasal muzik boleh membuatkan anak2 fokus.. di samping ada kajian yang mengatakan anak2 yang belajar muzik lagi pandai  atau lagi perform dalam kelas jika dibandingkan dengan anak-anak yang x belajar muzik... Jadi berdasarkan fakta tersebut.. sy pun pergi ke sekolah music dekat rumah saya.. dan terus bertanya pasal kelas music untuk Benjamin dan Aleesya...

Memandangkan saya selalu pergi Gym kat Wangsa Walk..so sy pilih kelas music Yamaha di Wangsa Walk..  dan ini struktur yuranya..

1) 3 tahun - 3 tahun setengah = Music Wonderland
Yuran (kena bayar 3 bulan sekali) = RM 354
Registration fees = RM50

2) 4tahun - 5 tahun = Junior Music Class (JMC)
Yuran (kena bayar 3 bulan sekali ) = RM 354
Registration fees = RM 50
Buku-buku dan CD = RM 129 ( kalau x silap)

Untuk Aleesya.. belum boleh masuk lagi memandangkan dia belum lagi 3 tahun.. so kena tunggu birthday dia baru boleh masuk... and untuk Benjamin.. dia masih menunggu untuk penuhkan qorum before start kelas... so sekarang sy kena tunggu untuk kelas JMC bukak.. before Benjamin boleh masuk.. tapi nama semua dah sy berikan kepada staf sana...

Sy harap.. impian saya untuk tengok anak2 blaja music tercapai.. ooh.. lambatnya orang Yamaha nk call saya untuk panggil Benjamin masuk kelas.....!! heheheh