Wednesday, November 17, 2010

shopping

I memang bukan kaki shopping.. dan memang x suka shopping... kalau pergi kedai pun, hanya akan pergi beli barang yang nak dibeli, mmg i paling benci nak jalan2 cuci mata nie, dahlah buat penat badan, tapi barangnya x dapat pun.. so window shopping bukan kene dengan jiwa i

Tapi lain pulak dengan abang. Abang mmg suka window shopping, and everytime abang nk beli something it always take more than one hour untuk abang memilih barang2. Mmg at the end of the day abang akan beli jugak barang tue, cuma abang always need a longer time to choose which one yang dia betul2 satisfy.. kata abang dia nak bali satu barang sampai dia puas hati..

Pernah sekali tue i temankan abang pergi beli bag untuk travel, kitaorang sampai kat midvalley dalam pukul 5.30.. tapi pukul 7.00 baru abang boleh pilih beg mana yang dia betul2 nk beli.. i duk kat situ temankan abang sabar ajerlah.. memang muka i masa tu masam gila2.. sbb penat sangat temankan abg bershopping. sejam berdiri kat situ.. tunjuk yang ni x berkenan.. tunjuk yang tu x berkenan.. fuhhhh mmg sungguh susah..

Abang mmg sekepala dengan my mum.. kaki shopping.. sbb tue everytime my mum nk pergi shopping, abang sorang ajer yang volunteer nak ikut.. kalau papa tu dah lama give up dengan mama.. mama dia boleh bershopping dari pukul 8 pagi.. sampai 8 malam tanpa henti.. mmg jenis dia mcm tue... jenis suka bershopping.. kalau dulu2.. mama ajak pergi shopping.. mesti i x akan nak ikut..kalau i ikut pun.. mesti i akan mengamuk nak balik... hahahaha..

Honestly i selalu rasa mcm nk lari ajer bila abang ajak pergi beli something.. cuma memandangkan dia tue suami.. so kenelah ikut.. kalau x ... x ada maknanya i nk temankan dia.. mmg lama gile2... boleh kene darah tinggi tengok abang bershopping...

Friday, November 12, 2010

the relationship..

After almost 3 years of marriage.. i have to admit.. marriage wasnt an easy game to play.. it is hard.. it need a lot patient.. it need consideration.. it need to leave the selfishness behind.. and do what is right for everybody in the relationship.. not what is right for us.. marriage may not just be about love.. but it is more about acceptance, consideration, faith and trust...

i must admit.. those 3 years living with abang.. was tough! i knew him for almost 3 years before we got married.. but those 3 years does not make me knew who he really was.. The moment we enter into the agreement of marriage.. everything had been reset to new.. he was like a new man.. the man that i knew for the past 3 years suddenly gone.. though we had become friend for almost 3 years.. but marriage make the relationship like a fresh start.. everything was soo new.. so fresh..

And 3 years of marriage.. i must admit.. i'm still at the stage of knowing him.. and i guess he also at the same stage.. why huh?? i dont know..

Those 3 years, make me dig about his weakness more.. i dont know why i did that.. maybe due to the pressure around.. i started to see that my life was not fair when i with him.. i dig about his weakness and i forget all the wonderful things that he had done to me... because of that.. we argue a lot... we fight a lot.. and we had destroyed everything a lot.. especially the feeling of love that we still have ..

And one day.. i've told him.. " abg ayg rasa ayg dah x syg abg.. and ayg rasa ayg dh x nk teruskan".. how selfish i am... i was so angry...

Does the relationship have to end this way after all these years we have been married.. does the love stop like that after having two kids??? No...no..

To be honest.. i love my husband so much.. but i was just to ego to admit that.. i hide my feeling coz i thought that can make me be stronger.. i thought that's the only way that can make my husband try earn me.. like the way he did before...

But i was wrong.. my husband dont have to earn me.. i am his forever.. and hiding my feeling does not make me feel stronger.. because there is no way i can be strong without him.. This world is though.. and i can handle this on my own.. i need him.. i need my husband...

Deep inside me.. i know he is a wonderful husband.. it is just i was too blind before.. and now i have to change.. i have to open my eyes... for my relationship.. for him.. for my kids.. and for myself..

And here.. i just want to list all the wonderful things he had done to me.. so i can remember.. and i always be sure.. that he was meant to me.. Allah SWT had made him perfect for me...

1) Abang selalu tolong i..dia tolong simpan baju anak2.. tolong lipat.. tolong kemas barang2 anak..walaupun itu sepatutnya tugas i.. tapi abang dah ringankan beban i..

2) Abang always try to help me.. masa pantang.. sebulan abang duduk kat Terengganu..abang tolong jaga Rayyan... abang tolong jaga Aleesya.. abang just make urusan berpantang become easier for me..

3) Bila i mintak tolong abang.. abang akan tolong.. without delay... abang always there beside me...

4) Bila i susah hati.. abang akan cakap.. " x payah pikir.. nanti kita senanglah..".. walaupun dlm hati abang pun dia x tahu mcm mana nk selesaikan masalah.. tapi still dia bagi i harapan that things will be better soon..

5) Abang memang banyak bersabar dengan i.. and i tahu..bila abang mengamuk.. it is not because abang tu jahat.. but because i was too much provoked him.. abang became too aggressive..it is not because he want to.. but it is because i made him to..

6) Abang loves our kids.. and abang always try to make our kids happy..

7) I x kerje.. so i banyak bergantung hidup pd abang.. and tiap2 bulan abang banyak keluar duit.. duit ASB abang.. makin lama makin kurang... tapi abang stll spent duit untuk kitaorang...

Regards
Attilla..

last night...

The story began when abang masuk bilik untuk tgk i ..masa tue i tengah baring sambil berselimut.. x pasang aircond.. x pasang kipas.. tutup lampu.. and pasang cite " wall Street"..

Abang masuk.. abg pun pasang aircond and kipas.. coz dia cakap panas.. Then abang pun terus naik atas katil... angkat kepala i letak atas bahu dia.. and abg pun peluk i... and..

abang : ehhh.. warm nyer badan ayg..

me : hmm..

Abang : ayang demam ke???

Me : yer kot...ayg rasa sejuk sangat.. sbb tue ayg x pasang kipas and aircond..

Abang : ayg nk abang tutup air cond ke??

Me : x payahlah.. nanti abang panas...

Abang : mesti ayg jangkit dengan abang nie... sorry yer sayang...

Me : x apalah...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A family...

After having two kids.. me and my husband always discuss what kind of family that we wanted.. and of course the answer would always be a " happy family".. But how to make it happen??

The key is.. both me and my husband have to love each other.. so the kids will learn to love one and another..

Looking at people who has 8 or 10 or ever 11 kids.. and all of them unite.. always try to make their parents happy.. i feel like god had bless those family soo much..

Last few days.. i read newspaper about a parents who went to do hajj with the help of their 10 kids.. All of their kids.. try to spent as much money as they can.. to make it possible for their parents do hajj.. what a wonderful family...

I am sure that every family must have their own obstacle.. but rather than blame the family... all of them unite to cope with the matters..

I am sure.. to have those kind of family.. me and my husband have to work hard.. we have to show to them... that things that matter in this world..YOUR FAMILY... and does family relates to the one that only share the same blood with you??? NO.. A family.. is everyone that close with you.. that always stand beside you.. who never leave you behind.. who never bring you down.. who cry when you re cry. and laugh when you're laugh... that's a family...

All i want.. is a family.. when i love them.. they will love me back.. i want my kids to love with one and another.. and has a very good relationship with other relatives and friends too... so they will know.. In this world.. they're not alone..